Things are Changing - Feel Good Directory 2006

“Things are changing, but nothing changes, and still there are changes”. Enigma.

This is so true. Have you ever seen the movie “Groundhog Day”? For those of you that haven’t, it is about a guy who repeats the same day over and over until he finally learns his lessons and is able to move on. I think this is a great metaphor for life, each day we are given the opportunity to start a-fresh, make new choices that improve the quality of our lives - and yet most of us continue to live life the same way as we did yesterday. For example: we finally leave a relationship only to attract another of similar nature. We change our jobs only to find the reasons we left seem to have followed us. We finally get over the flu only to attract some other kind of dis-ease within our bodies.

Do you know we have 90,000 thoughts a day, 75,000 of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday (Deepak Chopra). The thoughts we think and the words we speak create all our experiences. When we create peace, love, harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives. The course I run “Heal Your Life, Achieve Your Dreams” gives you the opportunity to examine where your beliefs have come from e.g.: Just over 500 years ago people really believed that if they sailed too far they would fall off the edge of the world. What beliefs are you holding onto because someone told you? I can show you how to examine you belief system and let go of the things that are no longer relevant for you. Life is merely a reflection of ourselves - as we change our perception so our lives change.

We are all here to learn lessons. Those lessons are varied for each of us - the goal is always the same - LOVE. Love is the ultimate goal that we all strive for in all aspects of our lives. Self love is the most important of all. Much of our conditioning has told us to put others before ourselves. And yet the Bible tells us “Love thy neighbour as thy self”. Loving ourselves is the catalyst to enlightenment. If you let your light shine it only encourages others to let their light shine also. I believe we are all here to share our unique gifts with the world, we need to heal ourselves first and then we can truly live the dreams we were put here to live.

Should I ? - Contact Magazine 2006

Inside us all we have a small child that like all children needs to be nourished, clothed and taught the ways of our world. Most of all it needs to be loved, supported and encouraged to be all that he/she was put here to be.

I believe that we have all arrived with our own unique gifts to share with the world - that is why some people choose this profession while others choose something completely different. Our world would not flow if we did not have such a variety of expertise in all areas of life.

One of the first words we learn is “No”. When we are very young we are taught to conform so that we “fit in” to other people’s perceptions of how we should be. Our children are affected by marketing images portrayed by food companies, clothing manufactures, pop groups, sports icons, TV and media images. To give you an example: I have two young boys, when my eldest was two he told me that pink was yuck- a-rooney. He had seen this on a Tweenie’s show and believed that pink was a girl’s colour and he should not like it. He is now six and has had this message reinforced by other male friends so much so that when he colours anything in or you ask him what his favourite colour is he will always choose rainbow colours, he colours in stripes so no colour is offended. Perhaps he is just a lot smarter than we give him credit for, why choose one when you can have them all. His glass is neither empty nor full it is simply overflowing! On the other hand my youngest son, who is now 19 months, has not seen the Tweenie’s show, when we went to get him a potty he chose the pink one. He is delighted with his choice and makes good use of his new toilet. I wonder how long it will be before he adheres to peer pressure and forgets that he actually thought pink was a cool colour.

How many choices have we made to please other people? How often do you do things because someone tells you you should? What about all those games we play when we are dating, should I call him/her? Will they think I am too keen, should I play it cool? This is why it is so important for us to take a step back and look at our own belief systems. Perhaps you have been doing things for years that you never really wanted to, you just do them because someone long ago told you to. I have often described our spirit as the backbone of whom we are, everything we do is supported by our spirit. Have you ever had a trapped nerve or your back slightly out of place? It is incredibly painful, it is not that you have lost any of the pieces - they have simply become dislodged and need to be realigned. Once this is achieved you are pain free once more. This is the same as your spirit; sometimes we lose a part of ourselves along the way trying to please other people. The course I run helps you to realign your spiritual backbone so that you can live the life you want and were put here to live.

Parenting with Love - Tot's to Teens 2006

When we are very little we learn how to feel about ourselves and life by the reactions of adults around us. If you lived in an environment of love, laughter, encouragement and support this is what you will find throughout your life. If on the other hand you lived in an environment where the adults around you were unhappy or frightened, guilty or angry then you would have learnt a lot of negative things about yourself and your world. When we grow up we have a tendency to recreate the emotional environment of our early life. This is neither good nor bad, right or wrong, it is just what we know inside as home.

Over the years there have been many different views on how we should parent our children. Let’s look at the Queen for example. She once believed that children should always be kept at arms length. I once saw a documentary with her returning from a seven week trip away and Prince Charles who was just a little boy then greeted her with a hand shake.

Some of you will remember only to well the strap being served at school for misbehaviour, now we are told not to smack our children. Some of the books tell us not to make a big deal when our children do well as this will increase pressure on them to keep up the standard that they have reached, others will tell us to congratulate them constantly to encourage them to be all that they can be. These messages can be conflicting and confusing for us poor parents to know what to do for the best.

I have learnt so much about myself from my two gorgeous children, I am constantly learning, growing and revaluating myself as I move to each new challenge of parenting. Here are some tips that I hope you will find helpful with your family.

1.The first and most important step – is to learn to love and accept yourself exactly as you are, wherever you are on life’s journey. Stop criticising yourself. Treat yourself as your own best friend.

2.Love your children unconditionally, let them know it doesn’t matter if they are happy, sad, angry or mad, you will always love them just the way they are.

3.Don’t be afraid to tell them how much they mean to you. They need to hear this.

4.Hug them, give them lots of cuddles, children love this as much as you do.

5.Make time each day to just be with your child, turn the TV off, the play station, the radio whatever. Give them your undivided attention, look your child in the eye, listen to what they have to say, play with them, laugh and smile.

6.Watch what they watch on TV even soaps and cartoons, are you sure that they are aware of what is fact and what is fiction?

7.Make time to do some physical activities together, a walk, bike ride, play ball in the park – it is as good for you s it is for them.

Look we are victims of victims or “Survivors of survivors”. We are doing the best we can with the knowledge we have at this given moment in time. Things are changing, we are now living in a world where we are beginning to accept that we all want the same things in life, we all want to be happy, to love and to be loved. Don’t wait until you have all the answers there will always be more questions. Start now, do it today.